the blonde and the pig in knickers

Last night, Lorne and I went to see Notes on a Scandal, a movie starring Cate Blanchette as a feckless new art teacher at a rough school in inner-city London who starts a very ill-advised affair with a 15-year old student in one of her classes. Judi Dench is also in it - she plays a battleaxe spinster veteran history teacher who takes the newcomer under her wing (although not for any altruistic reasons).

Dame Judi, finding out about the affair, turns into a blackmailing lesbo-stalker obsessed with ruining Cate's career and family life so she'll have nowhere to turn except for her dust-encrusted embrace.

Judi was creepy good fun, but not as creepy as the leering queen at the ticket counter, who told us when we bought our tickets that the movie was "delicious" and then asked where our "green" was (this being St. Patrick's day and all). Lorne had given me a green foil shamrock sticker to wear, but I had stuck it to my jeans.

I pointed to it. "I'm safe. Don't pinch me."

"Ooh," he replied with a smirk. "I wasn't looking that low."

Ick. Ick. Ick.