a dick of dust and gas

And here I was, all set to regale you with tales of snake-handling goodness, when the newspaper comes along and distracts my attention with these two shiny baubles:



Is this a typo, or did I just learn a new space term? Does a "dick of dust and gas" go down easier with astroglide?

Ick. I just grossed myself out.

Anyhow, here's the other thing:



This is the kind of statement (circled - you can see it full-size if you click on it - and jeez, after that last gag everything I write sounds dirty; click it to make it grow, hee hee) that makes me crazy. I don't know why, but I'm still surprised when this prissy aunt of a presidency does something like this - so overt in it's relentless busybodying.

"You can always turn the television off and of course block the channels you don't want," says Kevin Martin, FCC Chairman, "but why should you have to?" Does the government think we're so helplessly inert that we can't exercise choices anymore? Or is it that they don't trust our judgement? Put another way: "You could exercise free will, but why should you? Uncle Suck will do it for you!" And naturally, it's all in the name of "children." I am so goddamned tired of children and Uncle Suck fucking up my fun.

Listen: I like obscenity! And profanity! And sex! That's almost the whole reason I watch TV! If the goddamned fucking breeders are too stupid to haul their lazy asses off the couch and turn the channel then they deserve their children turning into zitty, Skittles-crazed, goat-humping Cartmans. Fuck 'em, that's what I say.

Sheesh. Lorne is right. I do need to join Militia Etheridge.

sick! and crazy!

I wasn't going to write about my stepbrother's wedding, but then the Vatican comes out today (oh, the pun was SO intended) and gives me an out by explaining that I'm sick and crazy, so I figure I have an excuse to be bad.

So gay folks can't be priests. Whatever. I think the church should be able to make whatever rules it wants regarding who can be a priest. What worries me is that Ratzinger also said in 1992, via his superfun CDF (Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith - the organization he ran before he was Pope) that "homosexual orientation is an objective disorder" and that although "among other rights, all persons have the right to work, to housing, etc...these rights are not absolute. They can be legitimately limited for objectively disordered external conduct. This is sometimes not only licit but obligatory. This would obtain moreover not only in the case of culpable behavior but even in the case of actions of the physically or mentally ill. Thus it is accepted that the state may restrict the exercise of rights, for example, in the case of contagious or mentally ill persons, in order to protect the common good." This, by the way, is a direct quote from the equivalent of a voter's guide.

Get that? It's just like we're sick, see! And crazy! And why stop with the priesthood when you can heal the whole society? After all, it's for the common good!

Pah. Tired now. I'll write about the Pentecostal wedding tomorrow.

do you want to go to the funeral or the new harry potter?

Sometimes the algorithm monkeys that run Google News get things a little messed up.

juicebox

X told me that he was in the next Strokes video, but I didn't believe him.

this would be funny if i had made it up

...and even funnier if it weren't true.